ma(r)c monkeyshines a lot
AGAPE.
AGAPE.
AGAPE.
the battle that’s inside.
i combat my unwillingness to study.
‘i mean, do i really need to study for the A’s?’
‘yes you do.’
‘but i mean i’ve never ever really studied before.. and i don’t think that now is a time to start.’
‘no, the A’s are different. you HAVE to study or you’ll fail.’
‘.. erm .. nah. i think i’ll just wing it. my genius will carry me through’
‘ _|_ ’
but really, i find it extremely difficult to persuade myself to do school work. balls.
sometimes i get confused which is which, the spiritual high, or the melody-music high.
maybe it’s just me, but both are starting to feel the same. Whether i’m listening to a song which praises Jesus, or a song that sings about sex, i am capable of getting high on both.
then how am i to know whether i’m worshipping the melody of the song, or the God the song sings about?
1 Corinthians 14
33For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.
now i know this, that love is not found, but is made.
there isn’t going to be that perfect girl, no, prince charming isn’t going to come on a horse. love is hard, and you have to make it work, it never was going to go smoothly. but by making it work, by persevering, we succeed; and love is discovered.
now, i have a tendency to just like girls with a snap. my tendency for infatuation is implausible. so i know that when i like someone, it is likely that it will dissipate as soon as she likes me back. which sucks. so how the hell am i supposed to know who i really like?
i have made a resolution, that my first girlfriend will be my last and the woman i marry. i will persevere, and make it work.
I love giving my all to God, and living with Him in my life, and loving Him in this deep new way.
I love trying to love everyone unconditionally, i love meeting new people and being able to make them cheery.
but sometimes, i still just feel so alone.
I’ve been sick for the past three days. which sucks, i’m still barely recovering; this is horrible because my parents are going overseas today, but i don’t think i’ll be able to have much fun.
But these three days got me thinking about the class system present in every society. In the past, our sewage was man-handled, what the fuck right?! you’re making a fellow human being clear your shit for you? WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT KIND OF INHUMANE SOCIETY TOLERATED THE OCCURENCE OF THIS ATROCITY. Seriously.
So back to me being sick.
Every time i blew my nose, with my mucus launching into the fabric of tissue paper, in a restaurant or hawker center and put it on the table, i thought about how i could possibly make someone (who is probably much older than me, considering that most cleaners are the elderly.. wtf again.) touch my disgusting mucus and throw it away for me. seriously, this system is fucked up. the elderly, who are tired from working their whole lives and have been through so much in their lifetime, are the ones who are doing the most disgusting jobs conceivable. someone needs to pay for this.
So every time i blow my nose, i take special effort to simply find the nearest dustbin and throw it away for myself, instead of being a lazy inconsiderate fuck and leaving it on the table for someone else to throw it away for me.
then i started thinking about the next step, about the concept of even making someone else clear your bowls or trash. why can’t we just clear it ourselves, right? i mean, if these people do it every day, are you telling me that you are too fucking up-class to touch your own stuff and clear it?
but then i asked myself, what would these people do for work if everyone started clearing their own shit?
woudn’t it be worst if these people were out of jobs?
We need to switch from a Money-Based Economy to a Resource-Based Economy (don’t understand what that is? google it).
‘When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.’
- Jimi Hendrix
Love Unconditionally.
